i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
