everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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