I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
