It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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