physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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