these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
are you so shy because you have an std?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
