my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
