It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
