when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
and she was petting her beer can
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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