He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
