You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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