I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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