You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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