Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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