I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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