Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
