3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
