He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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