Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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