Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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