you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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