One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize