ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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