My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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