Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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