I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
