I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
