I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
