What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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