careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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