it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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