my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I got inside last night via doggy door
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
