yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
