I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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