Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
