I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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