And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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