I wish I could teleport
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
