He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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