Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
