I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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