I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Everyone says I win the strip club
How does one acquire holy water?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
