I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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