just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
