Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just pynch a tree in the face
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
