Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
