never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
