omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I love having hate sex.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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