I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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