i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
