sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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