just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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