Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
