went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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