I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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