these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
