She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
