I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
