My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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