Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
