He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
