he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
